I have two good stories for you.  But first – I am wearing an ice pack on one hand.  How do you wear an ice pack, you ask?  First, you get a long piece of masking tape.  Then You get a small-ish ice pack in a baggie.  Then you wrap said tape around baggie to hold it in place.  Smart, I tell ya.

Emma came home this week so excited about Fun Science Friday in her grade one classroom.  She learned how to waft air from above a beaker into her face to sniff it.  As opposed to burning all the hairs in  your nostrils by taking a good wiff of vinegar, like some not-so-smart people might have done.  Maybe.  And yesterday the pretend play in the car was hilarious – she was very intense on discussing the ‘subject’ and observing the ‘subject’.  And then she demanded that Megan discover the ‘subject’.  The ‘subject’ was a poor teddy bear.  But thats beside the point.  So like any good mother would do, I was simply being a good example and wafting the steam from the kettle to my – er – something.  Before I yelped loudly “ow!” and jumped.  The girls were stunned.  So apparently when I say I regularly ‘yell’ what I should say is that I more like ‘talk loudly’.  Because this?  this was YELLING.  The subject?  steam from boiling water.  The discovery? It burns like the dickens.  So I’m typing with what looks like a blue turtle shell strapped to my right hand with masking tape.

My second story.  Because a girl can’t just have bad luck.  It really must come in strings of bad fortune.  I was doing my toes.  It had been at least a century and there were pick axes involved.  You know what I mean?  So I’m doing my toes.  And I know a secret that I’ll share with y’all.  Vaseline – the petroleum jelly stuff – makes a great cuticle and skin softener.  My esthetician shared this with me.  Anyhow, I placed it all over my toe cuticles.  Then I was really liking how it wasn’t melting too fast, so I started in on my heals and and pads of my feet.  And then, it occurred to me that it was really smelling quite minty in my bedroom.  (Yeah, I do my feet on the bed – its hubby’s favorite thing.)  And by minty – I mean reaaaally minty which is surprising because I was only using unscented lotion and vaseline.   Briefly I wondered if the kids were up to something – nope, sleeping.  I looked around for a second.  Can you smell Mint when you’re having a stroke?  Nope, thats rotten eggs or something.  Then I checked the bottle.  In the bottle that is now all over my feet?  Vicks Vapour Rub.  So when you’re in a pinch, not only does Vicks vapour rub melt less quickly than vaseline it also smells really nice.  :)

Now, I’m going to call my hubby because I’m sure – absolutely positive – that a burned hand precludes me from being the supper-maker.   And possibly from cooking again until Monday.